Found 35 entries in 0.085 seconds.
Questioner
I was wondering if you have off the top of your head any one-armed Herdazian jokes to offer?
Brandon Sanderson
Only the obvious one.
Questioner
That being?
Brandon Sanderson
How do you get the one-armed Herdazian out of a tree?
Questioner
How's that?
Brandon Sanderson
You wave!
Questioner
Do you think Roshar will invent waffle technology?
Brandon Sanderson
Waffle technology, I think they will... definitely. There may be a little work left to go.
Questioner
Will it be in Lift's time?
Brandon Sanderson
*laughs* Yes, probably Lift's time. Yes, she would enjoy some waffles.
Questioner
Yesterday you said that crem was actually like Shard poop.
Brandon Sanderson
No, I was saying that it was more like that than what they were saying.
Questioner
It's not really poop?
Brandon Sanderson
No, its not.
Questioner
Dang it, I like poop jokes! Can you make it poop so i can have a poop joke.
Brandon Sanderson
Ok, for the next thirty seconds it is.
Slowswift
(paraphrased)
Brandon's favorite flavor of gelato is lemon.
Questioner
What are we going to do when you retire?
Brandon Sanderson
Retire? RETIRE?! I would never! I will stop writing when they find me dead in my office and my face is on the keyboard and I type the word "k" seven thousand times.
Questioner
Riddle me this: Why did the Horneater couple stop after four kids?
Brandon Sanderson
*Playing along*
Alright, go for it.
Questioner
They didn't want to get heir-sick.
Everyone
*Laughs/groans*
Questioner
A Rioter, a Soother, and a Coinshot all go to buy a car.
The Soother goes up to the salesman and is like "hey can I buy a car" and the salesman goes "No, every time I sell to you people I always end up wanting to please you too much: I don't want to sell you the car, get out of here."
The Rioter walks up. He's like "hey, can I buy a car?" and the salesman goes "No, every time I try to sell to you folks I always end up wanting to try and *garbled* too much, get out of here."
The Coinshot walks up and the salesman goes "No you gotta *garbled* too, get out here." The Coinshot's like "what!? I can't mess with your emotions." The salesman goes "well yeah, but you guys are way too pushy."
Brandon Sanderson
Wow.
Nicrosil
Will we be seeing any more of stick?
Brandon Sanderson
Everybody loves stick, everybody is very fond of stick. I have no current plans for stick.
Nicrosil
Spook?
Brandon Sanderson
You will find out more about Spook.
It is not impossible that you will see some sort of story involving Spook. After all I did a little short story about Kelsier for the role playing game. It's now on my website.
Questioner
Why do you have salt?
Brandon Sanderson
Because this is my tour box, and I like to salt my food. And sometimes I will be on tour and have to grab food real fast after a signing or before, and so I have salt to salt my food.
nike_dunks
Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized Lopens or 1 Lopen-sized duck?
Brandon Sanderson
One Lopen sized duck, assuming it's not a Surgebinder.
Slowswift
Would Hoid, Amaram, and Rashek be flute buddies or would they try to kill each other?
Brandon Sanderson
*Sigh, long pause* I'm going to err on, "Kill each other."
Questioner
(paraphrased)
I thought that three years ago you wanted to write a book with Tad Williams and have George R.R. Martin finish it. Is that still just a pipe dream?
Brandon Sanderson
(paraphrased)
That's still a pipe dream
So the question is; I had this goofy idea one time, and I thought "what if I get this other famous fantasy writer and together the two of us wrote"... and we would write a book together, but it wouldn't be a Brandon Sanderson and, it would be a Brandon Sanderson versus where we each create a set of characters who have contrasting role, were against each other, and who would try to achieve this, um, they would both be on opposite sides and they would seduce each other's characters or murder each other's characters and thing like this and we would write it almost to the climax, and then we would go to George Martin and we would say "you have to adjudicate how we would write the ending" and so the cover would be like 'Brandon Sanderson vs. Pat Rothfuss with guest judge George R.R. Martin".
It is really just a pipe dream, especially when its a matter of 'when are we gonna do that', and it's really just a pipe dream. Maybe i'll make it happen, the trick is I'd have to find... like I cant do Pat because his fans would kill me for slowing him down. So it would have to be someone like Brent or Anya. Somebody who is a little faster, but I could totally see a 'Brandon Sanderson vs. Brent Weeks' right, you guys don't have to root for him cause he lives here. Yeah, something like that. We'll see if I can make it happen.
Questioner
What would happen if the King’s Wit, Wayne, and Mat Cauthon from these last three Wheel of Time books went into a room and locked it?
Brandon Sanderson
I think they’d all like each other. And they'd try to one-up each other, it’d be an epic thing.
little_wilson
If the gang from Writing Excuses were put in a horror film, obviously Dan would be the killer. But what order do you think everyone would die in? And how would they die? (The victim list includes: you, Howard, Jordan, Pemberly, Stacy, and Peter.)
Brandon Sanderson
Ha! Well, let's see. If Dan were the killer, I think he'd try to take out Howard first, since Howard is obviously the most dangerous of us all. Though he sees me more often, so he might try to get to me first. I'd put it in this order:
HowardMeJordoPeterPemberly (he'd leave the women for last because he's a very gentlemanly killer.)
And then Stacy would take Dan down in a surprise ending. She'd edit him out of the script or something.
zas678
If Breeze, Dalinar, Sarene, and Shallan played a game of Apples to Apples, without powers or spren, who would win? *laughter*
Brandon Sanderson
Alright, alright, alright, alright. Name the people playing again.
zas678
Breeze, Dalinar, Sarene, Shallan.
Brandon Sanderson
Okay, Jasnah. *laughter*
Slowswift
What's Hoid's favorite flavor of pie?
Brandon Sanderson
He likes to be surprised!
Questioner
Is Lopen still going to have one-armed jokes?
Brandon Sanderson
Oh, he will always have one-armed jokes! He's probably going to have to come up with some two-armed jokes.
Questioner
Yes or no: will the Stick ever come back?
Brandon Sanderson
The Stick? The Stick is omnipresent in all books, but I think the Stick has had so much screentime already that it would be distracting from other characters.
Questioner
Is Adolin a French fries or onion ring kind of guy?
Brandon Sanderson
Boy! Onion rings, I think, probably, maybe. I don't know. It's a hard question, very hard. Lift is "Yes, please!".
Questioner
If you needed to pick a band to write your soundtrack, which band would it be?
Brandon Sanderson
Band to write my soundtrack? Probably, Two Steps From Hell.
Questioner 1
If could be an Epic, what would your Epic name be and what would your powers be?
Brandon Sanderson
Um, I'm not sure. Let's see... Epic name... Mr. Prolific. Right? That'd be a good name. *pause to sign and gets distracted*
Questioner 2
What was your question? What was the answer to the High Epic? The question she asked?
Brandon Sanderson
Oh, oh, I was gonna-- My name was Mr. Prolific.
Questioner 2
Mister what?
Brandon Sanderson
Mr. Prolific.
Questioner 2
Mr. Prolific? *laughs*
Questioner 3
What was your power?
Brandon Sanderson
If I could choose I'd be able to fly. But I don't think you get to choose. So it's probably the ability to make books materialize out of thin air. *group laughs* And then use them as weapons.
Questioner
What's your opinion on selfie sticks?
Brandon Sanderson
Opinion on selfie sticks? I think they look kind of dumb.
Brandon Sanderson
Now, I will say there is one thing I've been wanting to do for a long time that will probably never happen so don't get too excited. But I had this awesome idea once, and these come to me, where I would write a book with Pat Rothfuss where *audience gets too excited*-- wait, wait, you've gotta hear this pitch - where we both have a set of characters who're competing for misaligned goals, like one wants to save somebody and one wants to assassinate somebody-- they've cross purposes. And we write them, and exchange chapters, and have try to assassinate each other and fiddle with each other's plots. And we get it to, like, 80% of the way done and then we send it to George Martin, and we say "read this and decide the ending and then we'll write it *audience laughter and applause*. And so the reason I want to this is so we can write on the cover, it's not "Brandon Sanderson and Pat Rothfuss", it's "Brandon Sanderson vs. Pat Rothfuss". And see who wins at the end if we can convince George not to kill all of our characters. It's never going to happen, but wouldn't that be fun?
OrangeJedi
Could the entire city of Newcago in the Reckoner's world act as a giant steel metalmind?
Brandon Sanderson
Sure! Yes. That'd be awesome.
Questioner
(paraphrased)
If Waxillium will become a Vessel, would the godmetal created by him, be... the waxillium?
Brandon Sanderson
(paraphrased)
He laughed and said it will be right in that way.
Questioner
Couldn't think of any [questions], but I would just like to say that I would like to punch Kelsier in the face now, so... *group laughs*
Brandon Sanderson
He usually deserves getting punched in the face. *group laughs* If you were to meet Kelsier on the street, you can guess he has something that he's done that makes him deserve to be punched that day. *group laughs*
Questioner
Are there any Cognitive Shades of Mistborn Llamas?
Brandon Sanderson
Hehe-- In the Alcatraz universe, there sure are. 'Cause, I mean, in the Alcatraz universe it is canon, for instance, that Asmodean existed, and it's canon that Spook existed and high imperial exists. So in the Alcatraz universe all bets are off.
Questioner
My friend has a theory: The Lord Ruler is the one that Shattered the Shattered Plains. Is that a possibility?
Brandon Sanderson
I won't discount it out of hand. Mostly just so that he can keep arguing with you guys.
yulerule
Do you have a list of the adjectives you use for Peter in the acknowledgments?
Brandon Sanderson
I do have a list, so I don’t repeat myself.
Sparkle Hearts
Kelsier, does he like noodles?
Brandon Sanderson
Yes.
Questioner
What is your favorite word in the English language?
Brandon Sanderson
[...] Rutabaga.
Questioner
Is there a reason?
Brandon Sanderson
Because it made me laugh when I used it in the Alcatraz books, and it became a theme of those books, which do silly things for no good reason.
Questioner
If you could cross over Mat Cauthon into any other story which one would you do?
Brandon Sanderson
Let's say Twilight. Yeah, Mat plus Twilight would be lots of fun.
Questioner
I heard that in one of your books two people from the actual 17th Shard got married as members of the 17th Shard in your book.
Brandon Sanderson
Yes, shes right there. That's Mi'chelle, she's a beta reader. She and her husband met at a signing at a Barnes & Noble of mine. So they met at one of my signings, and they eventually got engaged at my class in BYU so I put their wedding in a book.
Mason Wheeler
(paraphrased)
What do you call it when a Faceless Immortal says two things that can't both be true?
Brandon Sanderson
(paraphrased)
Uhh... I dunno. What?
Mason Wheeler
(paraphrased)
A kandra-diction.
Brandon Sanderson
(paraphrased)
*grinning* Oh yeah? Well, how do you know, when a Radiant shows up at your holiday party, that he'll be well-dressed?
Mason Wheeler
(paraphrased)
Umm... no idea.
Brandon Sanderson
(paraphrased)
Because he's in-vest-ed.
Alteroden
What happens if a Parshendi attunes Barry White?
Brandon Sanderson
*laughs* I think that if they attune Barry White they immediately enter mateform.
Kendra
You have to congratulate whoever did the Soonie pup ad. Effective advertising: I want one!
Brandon Sanderson
Yes, lots of people have said this. It was not something we were intending to do. It would have to be more than just a little puppy, though. You'd have to be able to rip out its spikes and transform it or something. You can go get a stuffed puppy anywhere.
Kendra
But it's a stuffed TenSoon, so it's a stuffed Irish wolfhound. And you can find those in adult. You cannot find those in puppy.
Brandon Sanderson
That's true. I'll think about it.
Kendra
You don't have to do the spikes.
Brandon Sanderson
I know, but people will want the spikes. They are gonna be like "If you're gonna provide me with a Soonie pup"-- You'd have to be able to take out the spikes and turn it into a blob, so it's a mistwraith on the inside and a Soonie pup on the outside.
Kendra
It'd have to be something like a backpack dog. Maybe the spikes are clasps on the outside or something.
Brandon Sanderson
Yeah.